Do you know something? God gave me this awesome awesome idea lately and I am dying to share it with everyone. hahaha.... check this out man:
In this picture, you see a headgear hanging from the ceiling light.
And in this picture, you see my masterpiece - A padding (double-sided) suspended from the ceiling with a belt. Attached to the bottom is a hard target to weigh the padding down so that when i kick it, it doesn't swing around too much. Fantastic idea!
Of course I couldn't have come up with these ideas by myself. God gave them to me overnight. I sat down thinking before I slept, how can I get better? I need to practice but how? And just then the idea popped into my head and the very next morning, i executed it and voila. Perfecto! So, I spent the whole morning kicking the padding and as I practiced, I grew more and more confident and I felt the stress and fear going away with every successful kick executed. This was better than anything I ever asked for. God has given me a solution to overcome my Taekwondo woes, which is simply to practice more in the safety of my home.
What else have I been up to lately?
Well, I've had an awesome weekend at a bazaar at SMU where I had the opportunity to practice my faith. Before I went for the bazaar, I was apprehensive because I hadn't prepared much for it. My accessories all have different colored tags. :P Basically, every was pretty much unprofessional. So, I figured, I'm just going to trust God to bring in the sales la. No point fidgeting since things are basically just that. It's my fault that I had no time to prepare but I have the grace of God. Anyway, I thought if I sold nothing, it doesn't matter. It wouldn't have been the first bad bazaar I had anyway. The most important thing was to gain as much sales experience from this as possible. So, I anointed my stuff with anointing oil and went ahead.
Guess what? It was the best bazaar ever. I sold almost 30 items, to the extent that I almost had nothing left to display but the customers kept coming. At the end of the bazaar I walked away with more profit than I've ever made in any bazaar. Go figure. I tithed 10% of it the very next day. All I did was to focus on my part to play, which was to promote my items and not be consumed by the outcome and customers wanted to buy them!!
Anyway, the lady next door (my neighbor) at the bazaar, didn't really like me initially but because I volunteered to promote her items to bring in some sales for her, she really liked my by the end of the bazaar. Yay! I felt so sociable all of the sudden. Just the night before, she had accidentally toppled my box of accessories all over the floor and then remorselessly commented that "it's no big deal" and to tell u the truth, I was pretty annoyed but when the time came for me to lend a helping hand, I still helped nonetheless, and then she kept saying "she's so sweet!" in a sort of amazement that someone so forgiving exist. And I had this warm feeling in my heart like everything in the world was right. I didn't know why I didn't bear any grudges, perhaps, I didn't think it was worth losing my peace over this. And then when I felt good, I promoted my items and they flew off the shelf. Looks like loving thy neighbor is really good for your soul too. I made a few new friends that day.
I've been at the NUS matriculation fair these few days, helping out at the Taekwondo booth and it's been a blast. Made some new friends from Wushu who taught me things I had never known how to do before. Like lifting myself up from the ground from a lying down position, and how to rotate a bamboo pole. So cool. And I taught them how to do some Taekwondo kicks too. Of course, I had friends from Radiopulze too and was delighted to be greeted warmly when I dropped by to say hi. Marvelous! At least these people know how to be grateful after all the help I've given them.
My ankles been hurting these few days because of my new training regime. I think I'll rest for a day tmr but the cool thing is that as i'm training at home, I'm also listening to Pastor Prince's sermons and there was one about how to become mighty in the kingdom of God. In that sermon, he spoke about how God's word brings health to all our flesh. So, I fed on that and believed that my ankle is healed. Remarkably, at training tonight, I performed splendidly (in my own opinion) though I limped all the way to school. My ankle didn't hinder me at all because I've made a decision to consider it healed and it'll not be a problem. Praise the Lord. I believe it must have been Jesus coming through for me. He will not let all my practice at home come to waste. Amen?
So, just tonight, I've been selected by one of my instructors to do a solo item at the Combined Martial Arts Display at NUS University Cultural Center next month! I'm thrilled and excited. I'm glad that practicing has yielded so much for me. It's really a blessing to be able to train at home. Thank you Jesus. Hope that I'll be able to get some friends down to support on the day itself.
I really thank God for Pastor Prince's teaching. You know even the idea about hanging the headgear and padding came because I listened to his teachings? He was teaching about how Jacob had visualized about his sheep bearing speckled young and in order to help himself, he had cut out the bark of some trees. So, I was visualizing myself scoring points. I kept watching videos on youtube of other fighters until i saw myself doing these kicks. After that, I began to want to execute what I had visualized. So, I thought of ways to practicing but none worked out until Monday night, the idea just dropped in. I just needed to suspend a headgear to the ceiling somehow. Besides, it didn't weigh much. So, one thing led to the next and I finally came up with these contraptions. Indeed, I'll never forget the importance of visualizing. First you see, then you believe, then you are. The language of the holy spirit is in dreams and visions. Amen?
Whatever the results of the Nationals is, I'm already blessed, because I'm enjoying the self training so much already. I realize that the reason why I was stressed is because I felt that I wasn't good enough and that there was nothing that i could do to make myself better within a month. This solves everything. Praise the Lord!
I'm watching Channel 5 now, a production on the Olympics, and I thank God that I am able to identify with the athletes. I liked what one of them said, "I'm not going to look at the other lanes to see what the others are doing because I know that nothing they can do can improve my performance."
I dunno bout u but before I took up Taekwondo, I always wondered what the big deal with sports was anyway. Now, I know that winning is not everything but completing the tournament to the best of your ability sure is worth a round of applause already.
Just Monday night, my sis Denise and I were traveling home from Parkway where she does her ballet lessons when I told her, "You know something? Do you know why some people get frustrated? It's because they can't find what they are looking for. There's no point looking for something when it is not there. You need to go to where it is to look for it. So, shouldn't you already be rejoicing once you've arrived at where your treasure is? All that's left is to uncover what God has already placed there." and I really feel that I needed to expound further on this subject, on seeking and finding and on the many obstacles to finding what you're looking for - Christ (Salvation and Victory) in every situation. The place that you need to be in is rest and after that all that's left to do is to uncover what God has already placed there, in the promised land of rest, a land flowing with milk and honey.
Deuteronomy 4 - Idolatry Forbidden
25 After you have had children and grandchildren and have lived in the land a long time—if you then become corrupt and make any kind of idol, doing evil in the eyes of the LORD your God and provoking him to anger, 26 I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you this day that you will quickly perish from the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess. You will not live there long but will certainly be destroyed. 27 The LORD will scatter you among the peoples, and only a few of you will survive among the nations to which the LORD will drive you. 28 There you will worship man-made gods of wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or eat or smell. 29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. 30 When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him.
I just wanted to show you this passage to prove that you cannot worship God and also worship other gods because when you do that you'll be in distress.
Idols can come in the following forms:
15 You saw no form of any kind the day the LORD spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire. Therefore watch yourselves very carefully,16 so that you do not become corrupt and make for yourselves an idol, an image of any shape, whether formed like a man or a woman, 17 or like any animal on earth or any bird that flies in the air, 18 or like any creature that moves along the ground or any fish in the waters below. 19 And when you look up to the sky and see the sun, the moon and the stars—all the heavenly array—do not be enticed into bowing down to them and worshiping things the LORD your God has apportioned to all the nations under heaven. 20 But as for you, the LORD took you and brought you out of the iron-smelting furnace, out of Egypt, to be the people of his inheritance, as you now are.
However, even from there if you look for God with all your heart and all your soul, you can find Him and he'll redeem you from the curse. Observe also that the holy spirit included "Therefore watch yourselves very carefully" in the front? You may think of course, we have no trouble watching ourselves. We're so used to watching our finances, watching our diet, watching how we look in the mirror, watching where we stand at workplace whether our boss favors us or not. But in this context, the holy spirit was referring to watching out that we do not fall into idolatry.
Why is idolatry so bad? It robs you of your ability to obey God because people who idolize other gods find it incredibly difficult to obey God's voice. God is God in your life only if you place Him where He ought to be, at the head of your household. If something else, another priority circumscribes God, then God ceases to be God in your life. Sometimes I like to remind myself, especially when I'm really stressed, who my God is. Who do I worship? Is it good results? Am I worshiping the love of man? Or am I worshiping the God of the bible? because if I'm really worshiping the God of the bible then good results, the good opinion of man and circumstances around me shouldn't matter anymore. Jesus cried out at the cross "it is finished." It is not the things that I see in my life that is going to finish God's work so why should I be troubled? I'm not trying to add on to God's work. Jesus has done it all!
Then I remind myself firmly, "Gwen. Listen. Your God is not these things that you're trying to achieve. Your God has declared that everything is done and you believe that so start behaving like you have everything you need already."
Sometimes, I have to be so firm with myself it's funny. I tell myself, "If you're not going to chill and relax, then I'm going to have to ask you to stop and give up the whole thing. This is not worth you losing your peace."
I need to let the things of God take central place in my life. God's rest is precious to me, beyond all the As that I can possibly achieve, beyond all the gold medals that I can win, definately beyond how much money I can make or how well people think of me. Amen.
Jesus said in John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I intend to take that radically. If anything troubles me or causes me to be afraid, I'll use my authority as a child of God to rebuke that thing. You've got to be super radical about it, until you might seem stubborn. Every time something really intimidating confronts you, you gotta speak out your peace. Tell yourself "I can live without this thing that people have threatened to take away from me. Jesus is all I need and no one can take him away from me. So, if today marks the end of my gold medal/_______ then so be it. I'll live to fight another day." There's this uncompromising quality about those who know that they are the righteousness of God in Christ.
As it is written in Proverbs 28:1
The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
This verse is in the exact contact of intimidation and threats. The devil likes to threaten you that he'll remove this and that from you and make things really hard. You know what you've to say to that?
Say this "So what? I don't care. No matter what happens, I'm not leaving my seat of rest. So what if I lose today. I'll be coming back again and again and again until I find what I seek."
Those who are constantly worried do not prioritize God's peace. They are like the wicked men who flee though no one pursues. They can be worried over what's happening to their friends or what they see on the news and discouragement coming from the mouth of others. Even before the true intimidation comes, they have already lost their peace.
Some Christians fall into this category. They avoid confrontation with their spouses because they are afraid that they'll fall out of fellowship if God if they loss their cool and shout at their spouses. They are afraid to offer their opinions to the leadership in case they are labeled as insubmissive. So what happens is that most Christians these days don't have a mind of their own. They keep looking to their leaders for every little matter because they're afraid that their precious relationship with God will suffer if they thought for themselves. Eh... Sadly, this group of people are often mistaken for the holiest ones. Those who stay away from trouble. Always keeping their hands clean.
Luke 6:26
Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.
I think this message will probably deliver you if you fall under this category so fret not. You know what? There's a high possibility that these people are living in fear of sin. They do not take risks because they are afraid of the outcomes. Each time God prompts them to do something or to say something, they stop in their tracks saying, "How can? Who's going to bear with the consequences if I fail? I could lose what I have without gaining anything." So they choose to heed the little voice of disbelief in their hearts and let God's voice be drowned. I'm afraid that these people value themselves and others' opinion of them above God.
My solution is this
1) Prioritize God's Peace
2) Realize that you are not God (You're a fool if you keep living life trying to get everything perfect)
3) You have the grace of God that guarantees that God is there to catch you when you fail and bring you to greater heights than where you were when you first started off.
So, don't put off your plans any further. Carry out your plans, prioritizing God's peace over achieving the outcomes and dare to fail. That's giving glory to God.
I'm telling ya. Just Monday night, I had this major confrontation with my mum. Both my dad and her have been plagued with worry about my trip to France when i'm just not troubled at all so she decided that it was time that she instilled some worry into my heart. It creeps in slowly. She said things like "you know your dad and I are so worried. But I wanna try and help u through the preparation so let us try to get everything right so that we can prove to him that you know what is going on.", "you know I don't have to pay for your trip. It's a luxury so you better plan properly or else I'll cancel the trip."
My jaw dropped man. Firstly, I know what is going on. I don't have to prove it to anyone. Secondly, the trip is so important to me so I don't understand how she could just threaten to cancel it just like this.
So, I felt this stubborn determination to convince her of 2 things. Firstly, that this trip is very important to me. Secondly, that she should make up her mind if she was helping me or not cause you don't just threaten the one you love to remove something so important when you're professing to be helping her. At the end, I added. If you really want to cancel the trip then go ahead, I can always go when I've saved enough money once I've started working but one day when you're old in an old folk's home, I'm going to visit you and say "One more word and I'm not going to pay for your medical bills anymore."
I think that really got the point across and stopped her threats immediately. Of course you guys might think it's rude. You would say "that's not how you should speak to your mother!" Well, different people must be convinced in different ways. Some people would try their best to convince you to quit just because they are fearful that the outcome might not be good. They must be shaken back into consciousness by your sheer determination. In the case of my mum, when she found out that nothing she could say could change my mind. She finally stopped worrying and surrendered me into the hands of God. Yippie... Exactly the outcome that i'd hope for.
This was of course not the first time I had a fight with her. When I was about to enter JC after 1 year in poly. She made a big ruckus about how I'm crazy cause I'm not academically inclined and was probably going to fail and Dad had to threaten to chase me out of the house only to regret it later because I was so determined that I was going to get the education I wanted even if it meant leaving home. All of this emerge from worry and a lack of faith in God.
So, parents! The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is to not worry about them and trust them. If they're so determined to do something. Let them. Even if they fall, they are in God's hands. Lay claim of your righteousness in Christ and be as bold as a lion. Assuredly I tell you, righteous men change the environments that they live in. It's who they are. It's because Christ in them is greater than the devil who is in this world. They can't help it. Long before the need arises, they'd already be experimenting ways to meet that need and to improve themselves and their environments. Cowards have already lost before they begin because they can only see what is before them and are controlled by what they fear. They will never change themselves nor what they see because they are living under the devil's dominion.
Christians need to rise up and use their authority against the devil's intimidation and prioritize God's peace. If not us, who else?
Why is it important to be bold? Consider these passages:
Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:8
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Acts 17
24"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. 25And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. 26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'
I believe that our lives is just a constant process of seeking God, and finding Christ in all areas. But in order to do that, we need to have the boldness to seek. That's why God has made us His righteousness in Christ. So that in the time and place that we live in, we might find him without the obstacle of condemnation, which imprisons us to live in the past and fear, which prevents us from having any hope for the future. God can only be found in the here and now. He said "I am that I am". How many of us can truly live in the moment? Seek the Lord while he may be found, in the here and the now.
Isaiah 55:5-7
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
Ok. In closing, I want to expound a little on the last obstacle to finding Christ in every situation you are in. This obstacle is called COMPLACENCY. I'm sorry to tell ya this but if you're under the impression that just because you are a Christian, your life is going to be ultra smooth sailing and without storms, you have been deceived. Even when Jesus was on earth, he was sleeping in a boat amidst a storm, valuing his peace above all other thing. The storm only stopped when He got up and spoke SHALOM over the storm. It's like when the people of Israel shouted around the walls of Jericho. The walls started crumbling down. Knowing that there will be storms and walls along the way isn't an obstacle to faith. Consider the story of Bartimaeus:
Blind Bartimaeus Receives His Sight
46Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. 47When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"
48Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"
49Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you." 50Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
51"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see."
52"Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
All these people have great faith those there were great obstacles along the way, they were stubbornly holding on to their faith instead of what was before them at the moment. Such faith is valuable and precious in the eyes of God.
The worse place you can be is a place where you are blessed and in a comfortable situation and become complacent. It's a place called LukeWarm... where you don't have to prioritize the peace of God because there is simply nothing you wish to change in the world. Hence, there's nothing to worry about. Things are going too smoothly for you and you choose to open a blind eye to the needs of others. You can stay in this state for a while but I'm telling ya. You can't stay here for long.
It is written in 1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
If you're not radically protecting the peace of Christ in you which leads you into rest, you'll lose it because the enemy preys on those who leave their hearts unguarded. You'll end up worry about those things that you have. Will you lose them one day? What happens when you do? etc..
Don't forget your perseverance and boldness but remember to always be stubbornly protecting your peace proclaiming that Jesus has done it all and there is nothing left for you to do but to remember that and live life in the moment.
Finally, a summary of everything I've said:
Romans 5
Peace and Joy
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Praise the lord and Amen. haha... Going to sleep now. Night
Flashing News!
I'm going to France for sure now. Leaving on 15 Sept and coming back on 15 Jan. (plus it's on Singapore Airlines) :P Rocks!
Gwen's going to Paris. Gwen's going to Paris. Gwen's going to Paris. That's so cool.
I chanced upon the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho lately. It's a story of a shepherd boy from Spain who went in search of treasure in the Pyramids and his journey there. Along the way, he learnt to read omens and developed a relationship with his heart, which was capable of telling him the way to his Personal Legend if he would just listen to it. Eventually, he gained wisdom much more wisdom than he had sought, learning the language of the soul of the world and how to listen to his heart. He found his treasure and the love of his life.
What I read was not really the key to what I know. It was just a reminder of something I had known long ago when life involved making major decisions and really sitting down and thinking. I knew it when I first faced a major disease when I was 10. I knew it when I had to leave home at 16 but I forgot about it when I got into university. Somehow, I've decided to abandon it for my new religion. My new relationship with God, which involved listening to sermons and going for caregroups. When in reality, I've had a relationship with God for the longest time already, a real personal one. It was not as if I only knew about Jesus Christ when I entered New Creation Church and after reading this blog, i hope you'll too be convinced that Christians can have a very real relationship with God, like the relationship that Abraham had with God, like the relationship that Joseph had with God. The fullest relationship with God involves knowing Jesus and His finished work on the cross and if David, who wrote many of the Psalm didn't even have the full revelation, then how much more can we have a close relationship to God, one that will allow us to speak forth and write God Breathed words akin to those in Psalms. First take a look at this.
You know the story of the Prodigal Son in the bible? When the son was off in the pigpen, did he not know that he had a father? Yes. And yet he was still indulging in prodigal living. This means that there is a group of us out there who know God and seek him but still have not come home. We may have known God for some years but have drifted away from church, only to find that the love of God has followed us even through our years away. Those who have had this journey know for a fact that God's Grace is a reality. Others might not have received Christ at all. Yet it doesn't mean that they have yet to experience the holy spirit. Jesus said in
John 10
14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.
I'm telling you. Long before you've come home to the father, you might have already had a holy spirit encounter. Remember this passage?
John 16:7-9
7But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. 8When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt[a] in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: 9in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me;
Coach Maddy once told me. Grace is not a doctrine. It's a person and His name is Jesus Christ. So, the verse can be read as "when the holy spirit comes, he will convict the world of sin, because men do not believe in Grace."
I'm convinced that there are a bunch of people in the world who are experimenting with the Grace of God. They do not yet know that full picture but they know that they cannot take anything that they have for granted because many a time, their efforts had come to nothing. Consider this
Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
If even the Sons of God have to receive salvation (which includes every spiritual blessing) via grace, than how much more the unbelievers.
A man has faced many failures in life, he has come to a point of desperation and has no one to go to. So he asks himself this question, "why am I doing this?"
From there, he begins a conversation with God unwittingly. God tells him "Because you believe that something good is going to come out of it."
He then asks God "how can I know for sure?"
God replies "you can't but I'm telling you this. If you give up now, then surely nothing will come out of it. Yet, if you choose to persevere, there might be a chance that you might succeed. However, I can't guarantee it because of all your shortcomings. Even then, would you still want to persevere?"
Then the person sits himself down quietly and considers his life carefully. More carefully than most Christians do. More quietly.. Without loud Gospel music and the echoing sound of the Pastor's voice proclaiming his freedom from the law - a thing that he did not know of to begin with. He does not answer to anyone but himself and he makes a decision
"I will do it.
even if I might fail trying."
Oh what a faithful unsaved person. I guess I was in that category before.
And God speaks directly to Him
"You shall live to see my goodness.
You who are faithful.
I am telling you, whatever obstacle in your way will not be of me.
But I'll remove all of them in your sight
because you love me."
Please don't think that this conversation only happens once. No. It happens everytime this unsaved person fails, is overcome by fear and discouragement. He asks himself again," Should I continue? or should I give up?"
I do not for once believe that his faith can be grounded on his own abilities. It is grounded on the belief that something good might emerge for him against the odds because the one who governs Life itself does these things for us humans. He is not partial, He doesn't keep score of your past mistakes and everyone has an equal chance of success. That's a good opinion of God.
And you know something, he'll keep on failing. Time and time and again. But he'll keep on standing up and trying again and again. This faithful man. Until one day, he'll succeed even when he isn't doing anything out of the natural. Being faithful has become everyday fare for him. He bursts out in tears of joy and praises to God, knowing that he has succeeded because by some slim chance, God has helped him even though he doesn't deserve it and hasn't done anything out of the natural. Unwittingly, he is praising Jesus too! Jesus has manifested in the grace he had received from God.
God calls Him, this man is now useful to the body. He walks into New Creation Church one day and listens to Pastor Prince preach on the grace of God. "Jesus has done it for you. Now Receive!" and the holy spirit convicts him to receive this amazing gift that he's longed for for the longest time imaginable. He wants it so much, to know that he has been forgiven of his sins.
God speaks to him
"Son, if you would only receive the blood of Jesus.
Come into my arms and let me embrace you with my kisses.
You know Jesus. He's the reason why you received success in the first place.
You praised him though you knew not his name and I have revealed Him to you today.
You will never need to be in despair ever again.
I love you very much."
The man prays the sinner's prayer directly to God and received forgiveness of sins and his sonship to God. Everything has changed.
He said under his breath," Thank you Jesus. You are the truth."
But all this is so foreign for him. He felt that in order to be reverant to God, he has to forsake all his past practices of sitting down, quietening his soul and just praying to God and listening to God's reply. He picks up praying in toungues, joins a care group is corrected by his leaders and is slowly transformed into the image of every other Christian in the congregation. But something has been lost. Life has lost its meaning. He remembers not what is was that kept him longing to live and to experiment. His mind has been filled with messages about confessing the word of God. "I'm prosperous. By the Blood of Jesus." He shouts. Yet, there's no revelation. He's forgotten the time when he could sit down and such a cozy time with God. Now he was just a face in the crowd, one amongst the thousands who attend New Creation Churhc.
Recently, he picked up The Alchemist and is reminded that he can have a personal relationship with God.
So once again he spoke, straight from his heart, he cried out, "Daddy God, I miss talking to you directly. I know I can receive your word from the Pastor but I want to hear from you too."
And God comforted him
"I am always with you Son.
I have taught you to listen to my voice,
you are blessed amongst your peers."
And the man said
"I will live life God
listening to your voice always."
and there was peace.
Well, that's the story of my walk with God and I wouldn't mind sharing it because it is written that:
Romans 12:6
We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.
It's my calling to prophecy and I will do it. Thank God for reminding me. Amen.
And it will be said:
"Build up, build up, prepare the road!
Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people."
For this is what the high and lofty One says-
he who live forever, whose name is holy:
"I live in a high and holy place,
but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.
- Isaiah 57:14-15
I was contemplating if I should drop out of the Nationals but I asked the Lord and He told me to go. The Lord says that he has built me up and prepared me. Angels have been instructed to remove all obstacles from my way and even when I'm down and contrite, He is with me to revive me. I'm deeply encouraged.
The Lord will guide me always:
he will satisfy my needs in a
sun-scorched land
and will strengthen my frame.
I will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
My people at NUS will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
I will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
- Isaiah 58:11-12
Amen! I will be guided by the Lord and He will strengthen my frame.
The element of stress and fear cannot be reasoned away. It has to be quelled with a greater power than itself, which is God. And God is love. To know that love of Christ is to be filled with the fullness of love. And in knowing that the Lord is practical and is able to strengthen my body, even, purges stress and fear from my body. Therefore, I'll take no thought of my life, what I will eat or drink; or about your body, what I will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? - Matthew 6:25
1 Samuel 9
Samuel Anoints Saul
1 There was a Benjamite, a man of standing, whose name was Kish son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Becorath, the son of Aphiah of Benjamin. 2 He had a son named Saul, an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites—a head taller than any of the others.
3 Now the donkeys belonging to Saul's father Kish were lost, and Kish said to his son Saul, "Take one of the servants with you and go and look for the donkeys." 4 So he passed through the hill country of Ephraim and through the area around Shalisha, but they did not find them. They went on into the district of Shaalim, but the donkeys were not there. Then he passed through the territory of Benjamin, but they did not find them.
5 When they reached the district of Zuph, Saul said to the servant who was with him, "Come, let's go back, or my father will stop thinking about the donkeys and start worrying about us."
6 But the servant replied, "Look, in this town there is a man of God; he is highly respected, and everything he says comes true. Let's go there now. Perhaps he will tell us what way to take."
7 Saul said to his servant, "If we go, what can we give the man? The food in our sacks is gone. We have no gift to take to the man of God. What do we have?"
8 The servant answered him again. "Look," he said, "I have a quarter of a shekel [a] of silver. I will give it to the man of God so that he will tell us what way to take." 9 (Formerly in Israel, if a man went to inquire of God, he would say, "Come, let us go to the seer," because the prophet of today used to be called a seer.)
10 "Good," Saul said to his servant. "Come, let's go." So they set out for the town where the man of God was.
11 As they were going up the hill to the town, they met some girls coming out to draw water, and they asked them, "Is the seer here?"
12 "He is," they answered. "He's ahead of you. Hurry now; he has just come to our town today, for the people have a sacrifice at the high place. 13 As soon as you enter the town, you will find him before he goes up to the high place to eat. The people will not begin eating until he comes, because he must bless the sacrifice; afterward, those who are invited will eat. Go up now; you should find him about this time."
14 They went up to the town, and as they were entering it, there was Samuel, coming toward them on his way up to the high place.
15 Now the day before Saul came, the LORD had revealed this to Samuel: 16 "About this time tomorrow I will send you a man from the land of Benjamin. Anoint him leader over my people Israel; he will deliver my people from the hand of the Philistines. I have looked upon my people, for their cry has reached me."
17 When Samuel caught sight of Saul, the LORD said to him, "This is the man I spoke to you about; he will govern my people."
18 Saul approached Samuel in the gateway and asked, "Would you please tell me where the seer's house is?"
19 "I am the seer," Samuel replied. "Go up ahead of me to the high place, for today you are to eat with me, and in the morning I will let you go and will tell you all that is in your heart. 20 As for the donkeys you lost three days ago, do not worry about them; they have been found. And to whom is all the desire of Israel turned, if not to you and all your father's family?"
21 Saul answered, "But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me?"
22 Then Samuel brought Saul and his servant into the hall and seated them at the head of those who were invited—about thirty in number. 23 Samuel said to the cook, "Bring the piece of meat I gave you, the one I told you to lay aside."
24 So the cook took up the leg with what was on it and set it in front of Saul. Samuel said, "Here is what has been kept for you. Eat, because it was set aside for you for this occasion, from the time I said, 'I have invited guests.' " And Saul dined with Samuel that day.
25 After they came down from the high place to the town, Samuel talked with Saul on the roof of his house. 26 They rose about daybreak and Samuel called to Saul on the roof, "Get ready, and I will send you on your way." When Saul got ready, he and Samuel went outside together. 27 As they were going down to the edge of the town, Samuel said to Saul, "Tell the servant to go on ahead of us"-and the servant did so-"but you stay here awhile, so that I may give you a message from God."
I was just searching for the verses "Do not worry" in biblegateway and I found this chapter. It says "As for the donkeys you lost three days ago, do not worry about them; they have been found." and I was amazed because it was exactly 3 days ago that I lost to Stella. So, I took time to read the entire chapter of 1 Samuel 9 - where Samuel Anoints Saul, and was greatly encouraged.
When Saul was looking for his donkeys, he found Samuel and once he found Samuel, he found the donkeys and was anointed as king over all Israel. Let me ask you this. Is Israel, the promised land flowing with milk and honey greater or were Saul's donkey's greater? Israel. Yet, if it was not for the donkeys, how would Saul have found Samuel. My revelation from this was simple. I should not give up fighting though I might have lost some matches because in my journey to recover the gold medal, I'll find Jesus and once I find Jesus, I'll find everything I have lost and lots more. I'll find the promised land of shalom and rest in this land and I must not leave.
When Saul arrived, Saul wasn't confident in His ability to lead Israel. He spoke of coming from the smallest tribe. Samuel responded by presenting him with the leg of an animal to feast on. The leg of an animal represents the walk of the animal. Jesus is the lamb of God, so this is a picture of Samuel asking Saul to feast on Jesus. In feasting on Jesus, we are well able to overcome. Even though we are weak in and of ourselves, we can be fully confident that feasting on Jesus work on the cross is enough to guarantee our victory. He'll guide me in His ways and show me how to walk in His ways as I feast on Him. I'm well able to enter the land.
And the fact that Samuel had set aside the leg one day before Saul arrived means that wisdom is nearby. The Lord has already planted teachers around me, he didn't wait until I arrived to prepare my provisions. My provisions are there, all I have to do is identify them and go to them. And the portion is mine, it has been set aside for me and no one can steal it from me.
Let us not forget that Samuel welcomed Saul with a FEAST!!
Praise the Lord!
I'm getting excited already. This means that before Saul does anything for Israel, Samuel is already celebrating for him. Jesus is celebrating with His angels in heaven now long before I even claim my gold medal and glorify his name. I don't have to wait till I win before I can enjoy every spiritual blessing. It's mine already.
Praise the Lord. haha.. I'm filled with joy again. and Hope. and Dancing. Amen. Let all the above be done unto me as it is written.
If you've eaten until you're sick, then you need to fast until you're well.
- I read this from Neale Donald Welsh's daily devotionals.
Thanks for all your encouragement for the PA tournament. I won Silver and it's only the 2nd tournament in my life and 1st one in the Brown Belt category so it's not too bad la. Just that I was so stressed out, i couldn't even put up a good fight. In the first round, I knocked my opponent out with 2 head kicks. So, her coach threw in the towel and picked her up from the floor. I was so threatened. If it hadn't gotten so close, I wouldn't have wanted to KO her. She punched me in the mouth, which was a foul earlier in the game because she was so stressed out and I'm still nursing the wounds now.
Second round, I was totally outclassed by this fighter from Denise's club, Stella who's much more experienced than I am. So I was the one who was Knocked Out instead. (Technical KO, which means that she scored 7 points more than me) But I should've expected it. I totally didn't have a strategy at all. Really need to plan in the future. Anyway, God's been faithful. He didn't let me meet her until the finals so that I could get a Silver. Can you imagine if I had met her earlier? I wouldn't have even gotten a Silver.
Anyway, I'm gradually feeling sick of Taekwondo. I think I've partaken of this habit for too long and it's becoming too important to me so it's about time I take a long break.
Last night I had a dream of myself in a foreign country with a bunch of friends and was being fascinated by all the sights and sounds around me. Amongst these were friends from Radiopulze and from church but none from NUSTKD. Isn't obvious? I haven't got many friends in Taekwondo and even if I don't feel it, my subconscious mind is suffering from the stress of having to win a gold medal on my own. I've already won gold at my first tourny and it was a spectacular tournament too. I won by a KO margin. But at that time, I didn't have to deal with the stress of winning. Whatever... I shan't over analyze the situation for now.
I need a break la. Really. Away from competition. Yet the Nationals are coming. I don't know if I should withdraw or not. Maybe I'll just go for it but put in less effort for the trainings so that I wouldn't be so shagged at the end of the day and on the day itself, I'll just turn out and give it a shot and not take the outcome so seriously. Whoever heard of a fighter that never lost in her life? I just need to overcome my mental block and focus on the match.
My dream was fabulous. I remembered looking at myself in the mirror and I saw myself in short hair, clear skin, with some makeup on. That's how I used to look I remember, before I decided to leave my hair long and abandon my vanity but I was happy then. I'm happier now but I could laugh with the friends that I had then. Now, I don't have many friends not even those I can cry with. Even in church, sometimes, I feel annoyed by a girl in my CG who's damn rude. I mean you can ask her a simple question and she'll reply with so much guardedness as if you were something evil she doesn't want to associate with. Like I remember asking her if she wanted to but a small bottled drink or a large bottled drink and she answered "what?", she shot me the evil eye "NO.. Get the Large one." What a dictator. Really feel annoyed by her. Nonetheless, there's some new blood joining us this semester and I'm sure they're still humble enough to be friends. I'll hang around with them instead.
Reminiscing the past always means remembering about the good things only. And that's a problem because I know that it was never a bed of roses. I abandoned my face because I've noticed that it stifles my imagination and my ability to work because my mind was always set on achieving that which is on my face first. Nowadays, I'm free to dress the way I feel like and do whatever I want, guided by the holy spirit. It's a much grander experience. My priorities have changed from wanting to draw attention from everyone so that I can make a whole lot of friends to focusing on doing what I have set my mind on doing for the day and delighting in the finished product. Yet, I'm still yearning for friends at the end of the day. I've got a few already. I think I'll just capitalize on them la. You know, spend more time with them etc.
I feel so hurt whenever i set my eyes on a friend and that friend ends up disappointing me big time and looks at me as vermin. They always get away scott free and move on with their lives, new friends etc. I'm so immature I feel jealous that those who have rejected me actually have other friends whom they really treasure. It's like I'm not good enough. So in order to prove to myself that I'm still valued and treasured, i'd go somewhere else where I can find acceptance so that I'd feel loved. And better yet, perhaps subconsciously, each time I see someone who's close to me delighting in some friends, I'd like to enter the picture and get to know all of his/her friends too. At the end of the day, it becomes a mess, like when I joined NUSTKD and befriended all of Denise's friends. Now that she's left, none of them are close to me anymore. I realize that I just wanted to be closer to Denise that's all but because she's rejected me and spent more time with her TKD friends, I wanted to be in TKD too so that I might become one of her friends there. Shoot.. I hope it's not the same with Radiopulze.
The truth is, I can't picture myself having these friends, I thought i'd be satisfied just being in an environment where everyone's very close, even if it's apart from me, and I can just witness the fun they are having. When Chris and I became friends, it's mostly Chris sustaining our friendship. Now that we're not so close anymore, I don't know what is there for me to do anymore.
Well, maybe I just believe that something is still not right with me. Maybe it is something that I have to do, like get a Gold medal first, or someway I need to look. Whatever it is, I've missed the mark and I can't have fun because of that. EEEE.... I don't wanna believe that. Jesus has hit the mark for me in every one of those areas! Amen. And I want to walk out a life without regrets.
So now.. How? DO I Stay here and rot? Or do I go somewhere else and start afresh?
Disclaimer: If anyone of you are going to condemn me for this blog (and I mean ppl from my church), I really don't care. :P
Hey folks, My sis, Denise, and I wrote this song yesterday. Hope you guys like it. It's her on the vocals and me on the piano (which explains the mistakes). haha...
This is us on the bus to Yishun Sports Hall for our tournament today. I was trying to concentrate, that's why my mouth was open. haa! Our matches are tmr. So I better sleep early tonight. Yay! my 2nd gold medal..
Lyrics
Jesus, you're the one who died for me
Not anyone else
Not anyone else
Jesus, you're the one who cried for me
Not anyone else
Not anyone else
When i'm feeling sad and lonely
and the world grows upon me
and the world grows upon me
I don't have to run nowhere
cause Jesus's running to me
and He'll be right beside me
Jesus, you're the one who died for me
Not anyone else
Not anyone else
Jesus, you're the one who cried for me
Not anyone else
Not anyone else
And when your world is broken
You don't have to try and fix it
Cause Jesus is your answer
Again..
(He loves you)
Jesus, you're the one who died for me
Not anyone else
Not anyone else
Jesus, you're the one who cried for me
Not anyone else
Not anyone else
Listen to it here:
http://www.archive.org/details/JesusYoureTheOneWhoDiedForMe
It's still incomplete. Going to try and finish it soon.
Good morning guys, this morning is a little special cause it's the first morning for the past month that I've got miss training. I'll be going to 2nd service with my bubbly and adorable sis later.
Nyways, if you've listened to my previous blog (which was on my aunt), I can't tell you how guilty I am for putting the last part in. The part on how I felt about church leadership. So, I'd like to apologize to the servers in my church. I'm sorry. Real sorry. And I want you guys to know that I've decided to abandon my prejudice once and for all and give thanks for what I've got. After all, having leaders to guide you is better than having none at all. Thanks.
Job 16
Job
1 Then Job replied:
2 "I have heard many things like these;
miserable comforters are you all!
3 Will your long-winded speeches never end?
What ails you that you keep on arguing?
4 I also could speak like you,
if you were in my place;
I could make fine speeches against you
and shake my head at you.
5 But my mouth would encourage you;
comfort from my lips would bring you relief.
6 "Yet if I speak, my pain is not relieved;
and if I refrain, it does not go away.
I'm not good at shouting. Usually, I show my displeasure by using words that are extreme, like disgusting etc.. Still this doesn't sit well with me at all. I don't like hurting other people's feelings.
Yesterday at church, I flipped to a random page in the bible and the passage above came up and spoke to me. I realized that the best thing to do when your friends are depressed is to encourage them and comfort them so as to bring them relief. Not to make long-winded speeches against them.
Do I really believe that? Do I? Well, i profess to but then I spent 5 minutes complaining about my leaders on my previous blog entry. I know that my leaders probably don't read my blog la. But if they do, they'll probably be discouraged and that just doesn't sit well with me. :P
So, once again I'm sorry. You know. The way to correct your leaders is also to encourage them to go in the right direction. Sometimes, a leader would say things like 'you say that you're not weight conscious but you still do sports.' or beat around the bush and try to prove that what I've confessed over my life like 'I know I may be depressed but things are getting better. Sports helps.' is wrong. The truth is what I was trying to say is that the Lord has given me an outlet to vent my frustrations and i'm thankful for it. Yet, I regret not telling her my true feelings. Perhaps if I said, "Jesus is my insurance. I'm under grace that's why this sadness has no hold over me.", she'd stop. Perhaps, the next time she confronts me, I can tell her gently that it hurts my feelings and I feel like Job being counseled by His friends. Either way, blogging about her is not the right thing to do. It's like the people of Israel mumbling against Moses. Rebellion isn't God's way.
Right. I better go change now if not I'll be late for church.
Here's my latest blog entry in audio clip. Just go listen to it at this link k? Spent ages trying to figure out how to upload it and TaDaa... My masterpiece. Enjoy..
http://www.archive.org/details/MyAmazingAunt
Daddy God, can I spend more time with you today? I wanna hear how much you love me and be filled with joy and peace. You're amazing. I know you're constantly trying to cheer me up. I am already happy. It's just that I don't show it so obviously on my face that's all but I'm so happy that you're with me. I try to look for things to do but all i wanna do is to be loved by you. So, just stay here with me for today and let me just hear it one more time, how much you love me that you gave everything that's precious to you so that every single one of my needs are met. Thank you Jesus for your love, I can't say that I'll never let you down, my walk is not perfect. Yet, you comfort me more aggressively than ever that you've got all my blind spots covered and planned far far ahead so that you've given me a solution for every single thing that i could possibly overlook or fall short of. I trust that this is the truth because you loved me enough to go to the cross for me. My experience confirms that you've always been quick to rescue me and pick me up when I fall. Thanks for being the best saviour, personal assistant and brother there ever was and ever will be.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
20 years old,
Student at NUS,
Not particularly brilliant but tries to be dilligent,
in love with Jesus Christ,
Single but unavailable (Wanna concentrate on my studies 1st)
Loves
Hates
Archives
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
Links
SEATO(My online accessories stall)
En Amour
YouTube
Debs
NUS webbie
